HEALTH
HOW THE MIND HEALS THE BODY
By Andrew Goliszek Ph.D.
More than twenty years ago, the American Cancer Association asked the question, is there a cancer-prone personality? At the time, results were inconclusive and researchers needed much more information before they could put the debate to rest. Since then, studies have shown that there may indeed be a link between behavior and personality and the onset of and recovery from cancer.
We know that emotions such as depression, anger, and hostility make us more prone to illness and disease; and it’s been shown that positive attitudes such as hope, optimism, and happiness strengthens our immune system and protects us from disease. Recent studies point to two personality types that seem to make us either cancer-prone or cancer resistant.
Cancer-Prone Personality
• Represses both positive and negative emotions.
• Shows anger, resentment, or hostility towards others.
• Takes on extra duties and responsibilities, even when they cause
stress.
• Reacts adversely to and does not cope well with life changes.
• Is negative or pessimistic.
• Becomes easily depressed or has feelings of hopelessness.
• Worries often and excessively about others.
• Feels the need for approval and to please others.
Cancer-Resistant Personality
• Expresses emotions in a positive and constructive way.
• Controls anger and resolves anger issues positively.
• Knows when to say no.
• Copes well with stress and feels in control of situations.
• Is optimistic and hopeful.
• Does not become easily depressed.
• Seeks out and maintains social support networks.
• Does not worry excessively.
• Likes to please, but does not seek approval as an emotional crutch.
As with everything else, there are always exceptions: some of the most optimistic and positive among us will get cancer, and some of the angriest and most hostile will live to be 100, cancer-free. But when a cancer patient is told that his or her disease is terminal, those who adopt cancer-resistant traits tend to live longer because their newly acquired behaviors will automatically boost immunity.
A patient’s coping style, behavior, and recovery strategy are critical factors in cancer treatment. Furthermore, mortality is typically reduced for those who have a social support network compared with those who are socially isolated; and patients who establish a recovery program that includes stress management and relaxation techniques have fewer relapses. So there is, indeed, a link between mind and body when it comes to disease control.
If researchers have learned anything it’s that even a disease like cancer is much more easily overcome when we use the mind-body connection to help fight it. And that by strengthening and conditioning the mind part of the mind-body connection, we can extend life and optimize the chances of recovery.
WHY DRINKING CHILLED WATER WITH MEAL IS BAD FOR YOU
There is a lot of controversy about this topic and a large number of people seem to disagree with the report. I understand that this practice has become a habit to a lot of people and accepting that it is bad means they had to stop the habit, which is often hard.
Like a nicotine addict, they will tell you that they have been washing down meals with chilled drinks since childhood and nothing has happened to them; for that reason, they are not going to stop. And I always ask, has anyone ever cared to know why cancer, diabetes, heart attack, and other terminal diseases are mostly suffered by the aged? All these are mostly residues of lifestyle choices over time.
We all know that food is an essential element necessary for healthy growth and development of the body. However, what most of us ingest today ends up intoxicating us rather than nourishing us. It is important to note that I am not validating this report. I have done a comprehensive research about it and I want to share my findings with you.
Ayurvedic doctors clearly describe drinking cold water with meals as a bad practice. To further portray their point, they asserted that cold drink extinguish body mechanisms and enzymes involved in digestion, and promote toxins that develop as the byproduct of poor digestion and metabolism.
The Tai Chi guru Robert Chuckrow, in his article, “The Importance of Optimal Digestion” completely supported this assertion. He posited that liquids, with or following meals dilute digestive enzymes. According to him, cold liquids are even worst because the digestive enzymes become very inefficient at lower temperature.
It is a common knowledge that fats does not dissolve in water. Drinking cold liquids during or after eating can actually harden the oil in the consumed food and form a big fat molecule that is not easily digested. When this happens, bile protrudes to prevent the molecule from sticking together thereby increasing digestion time; thus, yeast and bacteria have more time to multiply.If harmful bacteria dominates the intestines, digestion suffers, candida yeast grows out of control, and essential vitamins and enzymes are not produced. This weakens the immune system, leading to an increased risk of serious diseases ranging from diabetes to cancer.
As a recommendation, experts advise that chilled drinks should be replaced with warm water during meals. Warm water improves digestion and appears to help open the countless channels where toxins can collect. Another option is to stick with water at room temperature. Dr. Stephen Sinatra further recommends hot ginger tea. According to him, ginger enhances digestion and is a great remedy for nausea.
Another thing that I discovered is, when you ingest another food before the last meal you took has been sufficiently digested, your stomach empties it prematurely, which results in the absorption of partly digested proteins which can cause degenerative diseases like arteriosclerosis, diabetes mellifluous, or osteoarthritis. Other factors affecting digestion include: stress, physical activity immediately after meals, poor or insufficient chewing, and over feeding.
Now you have the details, the choice is yours, it is always yours.
Reference
http://www.sharecare.com/health/bacterial-infections/what-harmful-effects-bacteria-yeasthttp://naturallysavvy.com/eat/probiotics-the-best-cure-for-poor-digestionhttp://healthyeating.sfgate.com/fats-digested-8510.htmlhttp://www.chuckrowtaichi.com/Digestion.htmlhttp://www.webmd.com/heartburn-gerd/your-digestive-system
HOW TO EFFECTIVELY COPE WITH STRESS
By Sarki Gadah
Stress is more dangerous than many people think. It causes the secretion of chemicals substances that changes everything from how much fat the body stores, to how well your immune system works, how fast you age, and whether or not you will develop cancer. Chronic stress has been shown to increase the thickness of the artery walls , leading to high blood pressure and heart disease. Below are some tips that will help you cope effectively with stress.
1. Know The Stressors In Your Life
The most important part of stress management is identifying the sources of stress in your life. If you are not able to do this, you will become helpless and the stressor will continue to take a toll in your life.
You may be aware that you are constantly stressed by work deadlines, but the actual stressor might be something different from the job demands. Do you commence the work early enough? Do you have the skills and competence that is required for the task? Are you using the best strategy to complete the task? Are you usually distracted?
The last time I was with my mum, I asked how long she will continue to react to the misbehaviour of my siblings with quarrels that often last for hours and sometimes days. This is the same person complaining that her blood pressure is shooting up. She is busy putting the blame on them forgetting that it is the shouting, not the actual misbehaviour that is shooting the blood pressure.
Pause for a while and introspect. Examine your habits, attitude, and excuses. Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
2. Avoid Unnecessary Stress
A lot of people spent a lot of time on activities that are trivial or things that task their time and comfort. Whether in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a sure path to stress. Know your limits always and learn to say no to some things; you will be surprised about the relieve you will gain.
Analyse your schedules and daily tasks, prioritise them and drop tasks that are not truly necessary. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress, when you are behind schedule, it is hard to stay calm. Always start early and plan ahead of time.
3. Learn Reappraisal
Reappraisal is about paradigm shift or changing one's perspective about stressful events. If you can't avoid the stressors in your life, reappraise them. Simply figure out how you can change the way you think or react to them.
Denny Hagel rightly said, "If you see parenting as a difficult job, it will be. If you see parenting as an amazing opportunity to guide and nurture a new soul, it will be."
The way you view and think about a situation impacts your body's reaction to it. Choose to always see the positive side of every situation you are in, they are all opportunities to learn and grow. If heavy traffic makes you tense and angry, rather than fuming and getting frustrated, see it as an opportunity to relax, listen to music or a radio program. Reacting to stressful situations with aggression only fuel the problem. Safe yourself the stress and relax. Similarly, the magnitude of psychological and physiological reactions to stress are less for individuals with good social support. Finding someone to confide private feelings to is often rewarding. The simple act of expressing your predicament to someone can bring great relieve, even if there is nothing you can do to alter it. It gives you the opportunity to get it off your chest (Harris, 2006; Sloan & other, 2005).
Another way you can cope with stress is by faith. This is the privilege that believers have. Giving up your pains and struggles unto a higher authority has great liberating effect. For example, a study of Latinos with arthritis found that individuals who viewed their painful condition as being in the hands of God experienced greater psychological well-being than did individuals who engaged in less religious coping.
4. Manage The Stress Reaction
Stress reaction often include: fatigue, weak immune system, high blood pressure and blood cholesterol levels, and risk of coronary heart disease. Managing these reaction is another way to cope with stress. If your job is demanding or challenging, take frequent breaks to relax your body, listen to music or gist with friends/colleagues.
There is an increasing evidence that links regular aerobic exercise to good health and a relaxed sense of well-being. Aerobic exercise has been shown to reduce high blood pressure, blood cholesterol levels, risk of coronary heart disease, and general health and well-being.
At least, 30 minutes of continuous exercise that raises heart rate to 70% or 80% of maximum capacity at least three times a week is good enough. Unless you have a medical condition that prohibits you from exercising, ensure you exercise regularly.
P.S.: A lot of people who start a regular program of exercise don't stick to it. To keep your commitment to a program of regular exercise, find a kind that you really enjoy, seek social support from a friend who exercise regularly, set clear personal goals, and a genuine belief that regular exercise will benefit you is also helpful.
RELATIONSHIP
HOW TO RESTORE SANITY IN A RUDE AND DOMINATING GIRLFRIEND
By Sarki Gadah
“My girlfriend is becoming a problem, she doesn’t accept faults. When ever I attempt to correct her, it becomes a problem. To cut the story short, I am always the one apologising even when the fault is clearly hers.”
This brief complain was sent to me few weeks ago. From the narration of the young man, the lady in question have had three broken engagements before he met her.
Dealing with people with this kind of attitude is a hectic endeavour; their cognitive distortions and unusual perceptual experience makes it difficult for them to maintain intimate relationships.
In healthy relationships, when the actions or inactions of one party causes harm, emotional distress, or significant inconvenience to the other, the offender often listen to his/her partner’s reactions and is prone to quickly offer a sincere apology; both because it is deserved and because it is the best way to earn forgiveness and alleviate the pain he/she might have caused.
But in similar situations, a rude and dominating individual will typically defend his actions to avoid taking responsibility.
Why will someone be so opinionated and arrogant to the person he claim to love?
For this kind of people, taking responsibility for their actions carries deeper psychological implications than the act literarily implies. Acceptance of faults are incredibly threatening for them because they have trouble separating their actions from their character. Their disposition is similar to that of people with schizotypal personality disorder. "If they did something bad, they must be bad people, if they were neglectful, they must be fundamentally selfish and uncaring, and if they were wrong, they must be ignorant or stupid, etc." Therefore, accepting faults represent a major threat to their basic sense of identity and self-esteem.
Secondly, they fear that by accepting that they are wrong, they would assume full responsibility and exempt their partner or the other party of being culpable. By refusing to take responsibility for their actions, they are trying to manage their emotions.
Steps To Dealing With The Situation
Step 1. Make Her Need You
Breaking someone mentally is not an easy task, especially when it involves his values and belief. But with the right timing and technique, it is a lot easier. To really win her completely to yourself, you must become an important part of her life that she wouldn’t want to lose. You must first of all make her fall deeply in love with you. This is because love softens even the hardest heart.
You might have read or heard about Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love language theory, which discusses how one can fill the love tank of his partner. According to Chapman, each of us is geared towards having a primary love language. Figure out how she wants to be loved and speak that language often. If you are confused about identifying her primary love language, ask what makes her feel most loved, and use it to increase the bond between you two.
Nothing you do will mean much to her unless it is what she derives pleasure in. Doing this consistently and intensely will tighten the bond between you two.
Step 2. Take Action
Once you are confident she’ve fallen head over hills in love with you, that is the time to strike. The next time she put up such, do not tolerate it. Stay true to yourself and be sincere.
If she go wild because of that, show her you don’t care anymore. Give her the impression that you are fed up with that attitude. If possible, take a break off the relationship. Sometimes, the best way to make someone appreciate your worth is to stay away, atleast for a while. But before you do that, be sure you are ready for the worst because it could be the end of the relationship. If the affection she has for you is genuine, she will come back, and when she did come back, she will be ready for negotiations. If she didn’t come back, let her go. Your peace and happiness is not guaranteed with her. Look for a better partner because you deserve one. But if it works, congratulations in advance.
Note that such attitude may reoccur, sometimes in a different form. And when that happens, do not wave it away; always discuss it and figure out ways you can nurture each other's feelings for the better.
Step 3. Do not forget how you won her. Repeat step 1 for the rest of your life.
PS: Do not use this information to deceive anyone. It is inhuman and evil. And if you’ve suffered rejection in the past because of this personality trait, seek help immediately, you don’t have to wait until it caused more harm to your life and relationship.
WHY YOUR BOYFRIEND DUMPED YOU PLUS HOW TO GET THE ONE THAT WILL STAY
By Sarki Gadah
When men go hunting, they are either looking for a lady to flirt with or a woman to love. This reality however does not explain why men dump women because revelations on why men dump women are always complicated. Here are some of them:
1. He only wanted to flirt.2. There is another woman.3. He realise you are not what he thought you were.4. He could no longer endure your excesses (over dependence, character problem, dominating disposition etc).5. You don’t belong to his class or meet his expectations.
We are not going to dwell on those because I am most interested in your future and helping you to get into a stable and a happy relationship.
Getting The Guy That Will Stay In Four Steps
The following steps are very crucial principles. They may not guarantee a stable relationship 100%, but if you adopt and use them, be sure that you are on the track to becoming a better woman with strong-will and high emotional intelligence.
Step 1: Qualify to be justified
Every woman seem to know the kind of man she wants. The problem however is how to attract and keep that kind of person. A lady wrote me a couple of months ago seeking counsel for the predicament she was in. She was actually at the verge of another break up. She have had countless heartbreaks and was wondering why good men never crossed her path. Is such a claim possible? Yes it is.
The kind of life you live, clothes you wear, places you go to and friends you keep determine to a large extend the kind of people you attract. If you want a responsible man, you must be responsible from the inside-out. If you want a God fearing man, you ought to be God fearing. There are no two ways about it, that is how it works. Even the “bad guys,” when they are eventually done with flirting and wants to be serious, most of them resolve to descent and responsible girls.
Step 2: Look before you leap
Get this straight: all men are liars until proven otherwise. Moving around with this mindset keeps you mentally prepared to take control of your emotions and what may influence it. Do not allow the care, attention, affection, ever flowing complements and all the gestures from any guy sweep you off your feet. Ladies are easily carried away by this. When they are given the drug of too much attention, affection, care and complements over and over again, they begin to melt and seemingly lose the ability to think straight.
The principle of looking before you leap is very important. All those charms are acting like a drug. The brain has a pleasure centre which when stimulated, produces dopamine – a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good. When you are awashed with too much of what feels good, your ability to think rationally is automatically altered. The guy trying to woo you into going out with him may be attractive, sweet, affectionate or what ever you chose to see in him. But remember, that is not what you are looking for. You are looking for someone who will stay. He might be romantic, but his intentions might be evil, he might be another gangster who is only interested in flirting with you and nothing more.To be at a safer side, think of him as a flirt and his charms as the tool he is trying to use in wooing you to his bed and then dump you. From a distance, assess his advances. By his fruit, you will know him.
Is he acting like a flirt or a gentleman? Is he respecting your personal space or he is the type that wants to get intimate almost immediately? What about his dressing and the kind of language and words he uses? What is he really attracted to in you. You can tell a lot about people’s intentions towards you by identifying what they chose to see in you.
Know this today, there is nothing like “love at first sight.” There can be attraction at first sight but certainly not love. Be careful with the guy that claim he is madly in love with you, giving some impossible explanations of what you mean to him when he barely even know you.
Step 3: Dig deeper
This is what most girls fail to observe before accepting a man into their life. They always rush to accept the sweet and romantic guy without knowing anything about him. When you ask what they know about their new boyfriend, all they can tell is “he is tall, dark or maybe fair, handsome and above all very romantic.” A lady once said “in fact, I did not just fall in love but somersaulted in love.” That same lady was dumped six months later and suffered a terrible heart break. No matter how much you desire this guy, give yourself time to dig deep and don’t hesitate to ignore him for the rest of your life if you find out that he is not genuine.
But if you find out that he is a gentleman and genuine after all your assessments, you can accept to go out on a date with him (it doesn’t mean you’ve accepted his proposal. Spell it out clearly). On your date(s), ask questions about his values and beliefs on matters as spirituality, gender roles and responsibilities. Ask about his fears, hobbies and interest; then listen to the expository speech about himself. Because he doesn't know what you expect to hear, he is left with no choice than to be honest.
Also, get to know the kind of friends he keeps, he can't be anything different from them. If he is the kind of person you really want to be involve with, take your time, then tell him yes. You can add some creativity to how you do it. That will send a unique and unfamiliar message: that you are a complete package and different from the rest.
The relevance of taking your time to assess him and dig deep can never be over emphasised. It can save you a lot of stress and has the power of changing any negative impression he might have formed about you.
Step 4: Set boundaries and spell them out clearly
Do not be in a haste to go intimate with this new guy. Set boundaries and spell them out clearly. It should include "no intimacy and no sex."
“But if I do that, I may lose him.”
The response to that statement is yes, you may. But then, think of it this way: if this guy loses interest in you just because you refuse to go intimate with him, what does that say about his intention? If he can leave for this reason, what makes you think he will stay if he succeeded. Real men love challenges and they value everything they acquire through hard work.
If he truly love you, he will stay. Isn’t true love what you are looking for? To achieve your goal, fight the temptation of seeing each other frequently and be sure you protect your personal space. Get to know each other very well before going intimate. Going intimate means giving him the key to your soul and more importantly intimacy should be grounded on matrimony and trust.
Final Words
It is important to note that these principles are not as easy to follow as they seem. But with discipline and determination, they are doable. Always focus on your goal and never allow your emotions to determine your actions. Develop these skills and allow them to become part of you. And note, attracting a man is one thing and keeping him is another thing entirely.
I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING
By Zainab Rogers
Marriage is a very big deal, it is a long term affair and is going to take a large chunk of your life. The person you marry will either complement and help you grow or frustrate and ruin you. This is the reason why you shouldn't give it a casual consideration.
Often times, we hear statements like "I didn't know he is like this!" "if I was told she could do this to me, I wouldn't have believed it." Though we never can tell what the future holds, we can always identify the dispositions of our partners and make rational projections from such dispositions.
For instance, if you notice incidence of laziness or disinclination to be active or work in your partner, and you desire to have a tidy home, timely dishes, and a financially secured home, you are most likely going to have marital crisis if you marry him or her. It doesn't entirely mean that she wouldn't want to initiate or complete tasks, what it means is that she has a weak soul, which will continue to influence her will to start and complete tasks. Unless this problem is fixed, marrying such a person is not a prudent thing to do.
Similarly, if your partner puts his family first, expect to be hurt when ever he will have to take decisions that involve them. If he has a problem with controlling his temper, expect irrational behaviour including destruction of valuables and even physical abuse. If he/she is secretive, you may not have the grace to bear the truth when the secret is eventually exposed. Whatever disposition that is observable, think of it in severe circumstances plus whether or not you can cope with it.
It is important you note that no two individuals think or act exactly in the same way, no matter what they have in common, there will be times they will disagree about things that matters to them. Courtship is an intentional initiative created to fix this differences. It was meant to be a season where you get to know each other, understand each others strengths, weaknesses and differences, and also come to agree about things like values, ways of acting, and roles each will play before saying "I do"
If you wish to take your relationship to another level, do not be carried away by emotions, dates, and all the passion that comes with it; instead, focus on your man or woman and know him/her in and out. If you identify any unpleasant attribute in him, work on it. Never marry a person with an attribute you cannot tolerate; if he/she can’t change now, chances are, he/she won't, even after marriage.