When you think of the concept "punishment," what comes to your mind?
A lot of adults infer that punishment is a tool for making deviants pay for their misbehaviour, as such, caregivers resolve to imposing severe hardship or pain on deviants so that they are too motified to consider messing up again. Such reactions are inhuman. They do not only increase rebellion, but also the amount of physical pain the deviant can endure.
Ideally, punishment is a negative consequence administered to an unwanted behaviour (not necessarily the deviant) with the aim of changing, reshaping, or reducing future occurrence of the behaviour. Good as it may seem, it is important to note however that it doesn't teach the deviant appropriate behaviour. For every inappropriate behaviour you try to correct, teach the appropriate and motivate your child(ren) to behave more responsibly. Below are some guidelines that will help you to develop punishment that works.
Punishment must be logical
For punishment to be effective, it must fit the crime or misbehaviour. Punishment ought to be related to the behaviour. You can achieve that in two ways:
First, take away a privilege. For example, when your kid misuse her toys, she should lose the privilege of playing with them the whole day. Or when she fail to do her home work, she stay back and complete it while everyone goes to bed.
Second, impose a distressing task on her. Every child has a particular task or chore he hates. Impose it on her. If she eventually got used to the punishment, adopt a new and more distressing one. Always react according to the size of the crime. Children learn what behaviour is more important when punishment is reasonable and appropriate.
Punishment should be immediate
Punishment is most effective when it is immediate. If you wait minutes or hours later, he is less likely going to associate the punishment to the behaviour. The only exception to this rule is when you are angry. Anger impedes our ability to think rationally. You may ground your child for life if you act with that state of mind. The next time you are trapped by this emotion, assure the defaulter that he is going to be punished, and walk away. Deal with your anger first before you administer the punishment.
Punishment should be consistent.
Once you've decided to punish a misbehavior, follow through. If your child could misbehave several times a day or week and only get punished once or twice, he will learn that he has a good chance of getting away if he repeat that behaviour, and he will be willing to risk it.
If your child refuses to pick her dolls for instance, and you tell her that she have lost the privilege of playing with them for the rest of the day, but few hours later, you let her have them, she will never learn. Stick to the punishment no matter how much she cry, beg or promise never to do it again. When you punish at will, she may never learn the gravity of the offence. Make it clear to your child what behaviour you are punishing and remove all threats of punishment as soon as you achieve your goal.
Punishment should not be humiliating or embarrassing
Punishment is suppose to correct an inappropriate behaviour not to embarrass. Do not punish your child neither in public nor in the presence of his friends or peers. Embarrassing your child in public has a generalised inhibiting effect. Children generally dislike anyone who disgrace them in public and may chose never to confide any of their affairs or burden to you anymore. This is one of the reasons they yield to peer pressure. When he misbehave in public, tell him he is going to be punished and ensure he is.
Finally, It is important to note that punishment only reduce or eliminate inappropriate behaviour, it
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